Know What to Look for Before Committing to the Relationship

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There is no “look” to Domestic violence and no particular “appearance” that an abuser has. You cannot tell by looking at someone who is being abused and who is abusing another person.  Many abusers are extremely charming people and direct their abusive behavior only on the person they are most intimate with. Most people being … Read more

Victims of Abuse are not “Insecure”

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I often hear a big misconception when I listen to people talking about victims of domestic violence.  They often assume these women as “insecure” and they falsely believe that the reason women are in an abusive relationship is because they have “low self-esteem.”  I cringe every time I hear this.  Some of the strongest, most … Read more

“Brave” Not “Broken”

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Women who have lived the abuse are often considered “broken” or assumed to have “baggage.”  On the contrary, they are often some of the strongest women you will meet.  They are street smart and they have learned how to survive.  They have learned how to stay strong.  They have learned how to keep their wits … Read more

With an Open Heart We Can Do Great Things, Effortlessly

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As I sat in the backyard reading, once again I noticed the cat sitting quietly a few feet away from me, just watching me in silence.  Over the past month she began  appearing in my backyard. For the past week or two I find her sitting next to my backyard chair where I sit to … Read more

The Place Between “Goodbye” and “Hello”

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A single experience in life does not define “who” we are.  What makes us “who” we are is the whole of all our experiences, not just a part.  Our job doesn’t define us, where we live doesn’t define us, a trauma that we experienced, or a bad choice that we made, does not define who … Read more

Holding Onto Your Past

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We all hold on to the past, those people and memories that served us in some way.  Maybe they brought joy to our lives, or gave us hope for our future, maybe they distracted us from doing something we really didn’t want to do. But, ask yourself “Are the choices I make today because I … Read more

Overcoming Abuse Poem

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Once upon a time, in a land near, near by…there was a beautiful little girl who suffered terribly from the many abuses inflicted upon her, and for a long time she thought she was…ugly…shameful…helpless…hopeless…good for nothing… invisible…incapable…weak…the problem…the victim…deserving of all that was done to her…despicable…stupid And… she picked people, as she grew up, who … Read more

1 in 4 Teenagers Experience Dating Violence

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If you are a teenager wondering what a violent or abusive relationship looks like…It may start with teasing and name calling (which often looks “normal”), but can progress over time to more serious violence and sometimes rape.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend may call you names, embarrass you on purpose, keep you away from your family … Read more

Risk of abuse to children in domestic violence homes

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Recently I received an e-mail in response to one of the factors listed in “Abuse is Progressive” that have been found to increase serious risk and even homicide in homes where domestic violence occurs.  As hard as it is to fathom, one of the risk factors for serious injury or homicide within a violent relationship … Read more