Thoughts to Ponder

I often hear a big misconception when I listen to people talking about victims of domestic violence.  They often assume these women as “insecure” and they falsely believe that the reason women are in an abusive relationship is because they have “low self-esteem.”  I cringe every time I hear this.  Some of the strongest, most

Women who have lived the abuse are often considered “broken” or assumed to have “baggage.”  On the contrary, they are often some of the strongest women you will meet.  They are street smart and they have learned how to survive.  They have learned how to stay strong.  They have learned how to keep their wits

Once upon a time, in a land near, near by…there was a beautiful little girl who suffered terribly from the many abuses inflicted upon her, and for a long time she thought she was…ugly…shameful…helpless…hopeless…good for nothing… invisible…incapable…weak…the problem…the victim…deserving of all that was done to her…despicable…stupid And… she picked people, as she grew up, who

If you are a teenager wondering what a violent or abusive relationship looks like…It may start with teasing and name calling (which often looks “normal”), but can progress over time to more serious violence and sometimes rape.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend may call you names, embarrass you on purpose, keep you away from your family

Recently I received an e-mail in response to one of the factors listed in “Abuse is Progressive” that have been found to increase serious risk and even homicide in homes where domestic violence occurs.  As hard as it is to fathom, one of the risk factors for serious injury or homicide within a violent relationship

There is no “look” to Domestic violence and no particular “appearance” that an abuser has. You cannot tell by looking at someone who is being abused and who is abusing another person.  Many abusers are extremely charming people and direct their abusive behavior only on the person they are most intimate with. Most people being

Once an incident of domestic violence has occurred, that violence will escalate with each episode: the abuse is progressive and usually will not stop until one of the partners dies or escapes. The abuser probably does not initially plan on abusing the woman.  The problem stems from his altered thought process and his sense of

Because abuse is gradual love continues to grow, however the periods of calm are always followed by unpredictable emotional reactivity.  You may never know what will set him off and the violent episodes are usually unrelated to the situation at hand.  His level of reactivity is out of context to the current situation, reaching an

How do you give your heart to something that isn’t even real? Loving someone, then finding out none of it was real.  None of it, as you knew in your heart, ever existed.  Like you were only having a dream. That’s what it was… my dream, obscured by violence and abuse. I didn’t love the way